Warning TMI Alert!!

"I am profoundly and irreversibly screwed up"....Runaway Bride

So this may be my last post about the weird things that panic does to you....for awhile...or at least till I get some new hangups.  I have a thing with my temperature.  I feel like my temperature is important to be checked.  Now I haven't had a temperature in years but I carry a thermometer in my purse...can't explain it....don't know why.  I used to check my temp 4 or 5 times a day..always normal...unlike me.  :)  But since I've become slightly more stable....I don't check it.  Haven't checked it in months.  Weird, huh???  If I ever had to empty my purse at a security checkpoint I would probably be arrested.  And then there is the poop......now I know when you all read this on FB...this is really going to make you say...."this girl has totally lost her freaking mind" but I read somewhere recently that if you can't laugh at your own crazy messed up s***, what can you laugh at.  So feel free to laugh...it's funny.  I laugh.  Under times of extreme stress...I become obsessed with my poop.  Size, shape, frequency, color....you name it.  If it's floating I'm convinced my gallbladder is going to burst....if it's not floating, my iron is low.  I tortured my family for months to look at my "production" if you will......you would have thought that this would have clued them in that my "cheese was sliding off my cracker" but no they looked and assured me that "while I was gross it was fine".  I've been known to take a picture or two and send it to my best friend to see if she thinks it looks all right....goodness knows that girl needs the "best friend in the world" award.  And you wouldn't believe what happened after I ate the Incredible Hulk cupcakes with black and LIME GREEN icing at a little cousins birthday......I almost went to the emergency room because I thought I had worms.  WARNING:  artificial colorings make everything colored.  So anyway...panic gives you great little hangups that would make me a star on those TLC shows called "Extreme Obsessions" and "Extreme Addictions"...but the good news is that I now know that this behavior, while incredibly wacky, is just how I deal with stress.  BTW, poop problem is virtually gone.  I was "set up" once with a guy with panic disorder....you would have thought we would have been a match made in crazy paradise....but no.  While I am perfectly fine posting on FB that I'm obsessed with my poop...he wouldn't admit to his hang-ups.  We texted for several weeks and were going to meet until IT happened.  I stumbled on his hangup by accident......he had been sick for several days...so I simply made a comment that I would have made to anyone.  I said "You should probably go to the doctor, if you have strep throat you could die"...ok, so it was probably a touch dramatic...but please.  Well.......guess what.. he was paranoid of death.  He changed his numbers and I never heard from him again.  And then I went to the panic/depression/anxiety/ocd/emotional disorder support group/dating event.....MMMMMEEERRRCCCCCYYYYYY!!!  I just thought I had problems...I came out of that mess feeling like a brand new woman.  For the most part...people can't see my hangups and for that I'm grateful.  They used to bother me, but like my condition.,....it's a part of me....I can't change it but I can accept it.  I read a billboard today about bullying....it said "same kind of different as me"....I like that.  That's me.  Different.