Jealousy is a strange thing. I have never really considered myself jealous...envious maybe but not jealous. But it hit today with a vengeance. With the main man in my life...Boo Radley the 100lb lab.
He has a girlfriend....a 13 year German Shepard named Sheba (she's deaf, blind and a little-mannish). Her mom and dad are summer residents in the Hundred Acre Woods. She's not what I would have picked for him....I would have picked a fluffy Golden Retriever or a Yellow Lab....someone a touch more girly. But when he walks down her road....he struts...it's like he's making a turn at Westminster. His head is held high, his chest puffed out....he gives a smart little bark when he sees her and whines when he doesn't.
Today he was bound and determined to go for a walk....he stopped by his shelf and picked up a bandanna....he likes to look his best. I put back the Halloween Spider theme and convinced him that Eggs and Bunnies was definitely the way to go....spritzed him behind the ears with some Mutt Mist. And off we went.
We didn't even go near Sheba's....he left the Hundred Acre Woods and turned right. Down the road we went until we stopped at a driveway.....he stopped dead in his tracks. Sometimes my dear sweet dog has the personality of an angel...other times he's stubborn as a mule and grouchy as Walter Matthieu in Dennis the Menace. He's not a big fan of strangers and is very territorial so I couldn't believe he was stopping at a strangers house. But apparently it wasn't a strange house.
He barrelled up the driveway...you try controlling a 100lb dog on a leash. The door opened and this girl came bounding out. I took the leash off Rad since he was determined to visit with her...I braced myself for the inevitable ferocious barking but........this girl sat down and said "oh Radley, you've come again". Not exaggerating here. I walked up and introduced myself.....her name is Oksana. She's from the Ukraine. She's met Rad walking my brother before. Radley is all over her....she's oohing and ahhhing. Talking about his bloodlines, his bone structure, the color of his fur, the "pure beauty that is he" (she totally said that...because I can assure you I wouldn't). I decided that I had had enough of this and told Radley that is was time to go...he turned and snapped his teeth at me (the universal signal for shut up). He throws his paws on her shoulders and gives her a big wet lick right across the mouth. At this point I couldn't stand it.....I was so green with JEALOUSY over my freaking dog that I did what any red-blooded girl would do.
I said he may have good bloodlines and fur but he still eats....
cat shit.
That put a damper on her kissing parade. I drug Rad down the driveway....he looked over his shoulder the entire time...whining. It was a scene.
Jealous.....over a dog. We aren't going that way again.
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