So here it is again....the dreaded birthday eve......I've been thinking about the past birthday year...what I've accomplished and what I haven't......where I've been....etc.
Ok....start humming Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire".....
Hilton Head Island.....Charleston and meeting Sweet Baby Patrick for the first time....Pigeon Forge....Sweet revelations....Little League World Series and Orange County Choppers....Sweet first kiss....Quit the bank on a whim....Best thing I ever did....Panic Disorders and Anxiety Attacks.....Got a job at Silvery Moon...worked at Ridgecrest more...enjoyed my early mini-retirement immensely....WOW...Lost a 10 year friendship to lies (isn't that Days of Our Lives-ish)....Bad job interviews...Anxiety Attacks....a big yellow dog.....Rocking Chair Ridge...became the neighborhood pet sitter plus the "bill-collector" of all fees....Hilton Head Island....YUMMiness......Bad dates...Tea parties with delightful old ladies....Job interview with possibility???.......sold off all my treasured seasonal holiday bank decorations to re-invent the "new" Murph......Offered new job.....Hilton Head Island.....Endless hours spent studying for NC State Insurance Exams....tears....failure.....broken hearted.....jealousy......fatigue....anxiety....Started passing tests....excitement...glee....more studying....more Insurance classes.....fighting with insurance companies to get the medicine I need and can't afford....anxiety attacks....opened up to the Facebook community and to my family about my "secret" struggle with Panic/Anxiety Disorder with this blog......rough times....suicidal thoughts (it's true-and a reality for people with panic disorder).....Hilton Head Island....disappointments....disillusionment.....close family friends passed away....spoke at their funeral in front of literally 500 people if not more...no anxiety attacks....pre-speech or post-speech.....go figure.....can't go to WalMart without popping my cork but I totally rocked that funeral without any symptoms....working 7 days a week.....3 jobs....totally not where I'd thought I'd be at this point in my life.....resentment....hurt....frustrations with my new job....change is hard...sensitivity....azalea.....Ridgecrest....red velvet cake.....and to the next chapter...
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