Speed Dating AKA WTH was I thinking

All I can say is I have no idea what I was thinking.  I picked up the Mountain Xpress and saw there was a speed dating in Asheville on this glorious Easter Eve.  My other choice was to lie in bed and watch the Ten Commandments.....should have watched them.....should in fact be a new one...."thou shalt not speed date".

Anyway I threw on some makeup, curled my hair and removed any seasonal jewelry or pastel colors (Toby and Andrew if you are reading this....I didn't wear the Easter Egg Slide).  I headed to the location.  When I first went in the room it was all women....so I wondered if I picked the wrong Speed Dating group....but no....they were keeping the 10 eligible women separate from the 10 eligible men.  We would meet a man one on one in what looked to be a voting booth.  We wouldn't see bachelors 2-10 until we entered the booth.  The moderator, that was the title she had given herself, was overly peppy and happily married....and GUESS WHAT she "totally met her husband at an event just like this".  That should have been my clue to get the heck out of dodge.  But in my lack of sleep, insurance studying induced fugue...I stayed.  She started passing out index cards....each had a list of 5 ice-breakers (in case we couldn't come up with anything in our 8 minutes together to talk about).  Each card could be different or we could be paired up with someone with the same card,  What fun???  Where is Charlton Heston when I need him???

My index card listed these questions (btw, I wouldn't ask or answer these questions with people I know let alone people I don't know):

1.  If you could be any state which one would it be??? 
First of all.....I was already in a state....one of panic....what on earth was I doing here.  Secondly, what would this tell me about a potential mate.
2.  How do you feel about Obama's healthcare reform plan????????
Seriously.  I'm uninsurable and don't have insurance. 
3.  If you could eat at any restaurant in Asheville, where would it be and what would you order??
4.  What is your favorite book?
5.  What brought you here tonight?
Skipped a dose of medication???

All I could think was I hope to goodness none of my eligible bachelors asked me any of these questions.
So into Voting Booth #1........good news.  I knew him....had a horrible blind date experience 6 months ago.  His comment to me...."so you are still single, huh?".  8 torturous minutes later....the bell rang....time to see Bachelor #2. 
Bachelor #2 was missing 5 teeth...but trying not to judge I gave it my best shot when he asked "if you could be any state which one would it be".  Ding went the bell.
Bachelor #3 said I looked a little "too classy" for him.  Is that a bad thing???  Ding went the bell.
Bachelor #4......he was a relative.  Don't ask....I'm not telling.  It's illegal and just gross.  Ding
Bachelor #5.....I asked him "what his favorite book was".....his answer...he doesn't read.  Ding
Bachelor #6....A guy I went to high school with....who said that he thought I was cute in high school but I always seemed so uppity.  Fabulous.  Ding
Bachelor #7....His question to me is "if I were on the Bachelorette would I give him the final rose"????  He made up his own list of questions.  Where's the belllllll????  Ding
Bachelor #8.....Looked oddly familiar.  But after the old classmate and family member, I felt like maybe I was being paranoid.  I asked him about his favorite book...."The Grapes of Wrath"...alright...I saw a glimmer of potential UNTIL it occurred to me where I knew him from.  A support group for people with various emotional and mental disorders.  Next
Bachelor #9....Had pictures of his 5 kids from 3 different wives.  A little too much baggage for me.
Bachelor #10.....When I asked what brought him there tonight....one word said it all....my mom made me.

Finally, it was over.......needless to say.  Nothing I recommend and nothing I'll ever do again.