I feel the need to blog today...but I don't feel completely ready to bare my soul of what's really bothering me. I know....this coming from the girl who waxed poetic about her poop for one whole blog...it's hard to explain. I have 3 things, completely unrelated, weighing on my mind but I just can't voice them right now. Oddly enough, one does involve pee.
But I digress....I'm here today to talk about "delayed panic"....or as I like to call it...the sneak up approach. The day I went to take my Life Insurance Exam (after failing miserably the first time)...I walked up into that educational testing prison...submitted to the strip search and body cavity search....sat down at that computer 100% confident that I was going to kick some life insurance butt. I might as well have been Mr. Wayne Goodwin myself (NC Commissioner of Insurance-voted by the public for the public, serves a 4 year term and should he have to step down our dear Governor Purdue will assign a replacement-if you are looking for an obscure insurance fact...call me)...I answered every question....and was out of there in 30 minutes. I went to the lobby...got my PASS certificate...did a snoopy dance...sent my needy texts to have people congratulate me..headed to Charming Charlies for a "happy" to reward myself. Thought all was well. Until 11:00 pm that night.
All of a sudden I got dizzy, nauseous and itchy. That "out of body" feeling was consuming me. I started hyperventilating. My fingers and toes were numb. It felt like a knife was repeatedly stabbing me in the stomach. My mouth was dry and I was having trouble swallowing. Just another happy day for an anxiety sufferer. And this was 12 hours after my stressful situation. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end. But I made it through that night...the entire "attack" lasts only about 15 minutes but then I'm left exhausted beyond belief. And I'm sure I'll make it through another attack. It's making me stronger....I hope. Even though I still carry my heart on my sleeve.
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