The Way It Is.....

i don't always have my sanity...ok, so maybe that's a little strong.  but really it's true. 
i'm learning that maybe there are times that it's okay to not have it.  depression and anxiety are different for everyone, sometimes medication helps and sometimes it's just changing your lifestyle a bit.  i do a combination of things.....medication, read, cry and write on FB, my blog and my "Diary of Crap that really makes no sense" but it is where i can write and not have to worry that anyone will understand it.  i think in our route to finding out how to deal with this amazing emotion/sadness/anxiety that you feel you can't control at times that you just be honest about whatever it is, too many people are scared on top of these feelings.  accept yourself for who you are.....fall down, get hurt, learn from mistakes, be at ropes end, punch a pillow, cry until snot comes out, hyperventilate, get angry, hurt someone you love intentionally, open a door the wrong way,  accidentally pee down your leg.......do whatever it is you need to do to get it all out.

today was a cry until snot comes out kinda day......feel much better.  tomorrow is another day.

I've come so far.....

Tonight I went back and reread all my blog entries.  Wow!!  I can't believe how far I've come.  The downtimes have been replaced by many more uptimes.  The struggles have been replaced by blessings.  The defeat has been replaced by victory.

It's all attitude.  I have anxiety and panic BUT it sure as hell doesn't have me!!!

Sometimes I have a pity party....and sometimes I dance outside in the dark.....

This is me.....MurphyGirl.  Accepting.  ME.  Who I am.  How I was made.  100%.  No turning back.

I wouldn't change me if I could.